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| my new friend & coconut moca |
How do I feel about all of this? Idk yet. Pretty good I guess. When I heard the words "Could increase your chance of multiples by a little bit." I smiled on the inside. Not that I necessarily want that...I know how risky it can be with little twin babies (not to mention more than that) and I wouldn't want to be a basketcase my entire pregnancy...but twins? That would be kind of cool.
Husband and I went walking through Wal-mart at 9:00 last night to get him some ice-cream (he's such a cutie pants) and I said, "Babe, do you think we should pray about whether we should do an IUI again this cycle?" and without even hesitating he said "Well, I don't even have to pray about it much. I think we should do it. Let's do it." Not that he meant he didn't want to pray about it, he was just really confident that that's what we need to do. I love when he gets all determinded like that. I told him Friday night that I started this blog a while back and that I had four girls who leave me sweet comments sometimes and he was impressed by that! So thanks!
He also randomly said "Let's be foster parents" last night and my heart almost stopped. We have, of course, been praying about adoption and have had a few conversations about foster parenting and every time I think about it I can't really breathe. I don't really have a desire to do that, but part of me wonders if God could be calling us to that. I can't imagine bringing a 5 year old into our lives. I wouldn't even know where to begin with a little kid! I mean...raising one "from scratch" is one thing; learning as we go...but to just jump in with a kid? And then the possibility of them getting taken away. Scary! I know that God will equip us to do what He calls us to do. The thought just terrifies me at the moment. We know we want to adopt eventually. I just wonder if that is what we will do instead of having our own. But those are questions my heart will not have an answer to for a while. Until then I am learning to trust little by little. I am so hungry for God to give me peace about my infertility. I'm tired of wrestling over it. But part of me wants to just rest because I wonder if THEN God will bless us with a child (see how wacko my mind is sometimes?). Like I could ever formulate a solution to something so out of my hands. It's just my attempt to grasp at some sort of control.
Ok two things.
First is this song I heard over the weekend. You may have heard it. Strong Enough my Matthew West:
And the second is some awesome guys who do cover songs. Michael Henry and Justin Robinett. Their harmony is crazy good. Go watch all of their videos for reals!! This one looks like it might be one of their first ones but their videos get better. If I Die Young is also a good one. But I just like this one for some reason! Very...very much different from the Matthew West song. lol. *be sure to watch the dog in the background!*
Happy Monday!
I can't watch the videos right now because I'm at work, but I am looking forward to checking them out when I get home.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to your entire post. I too am wrestling with why God has me on this journey and what He wants me to do. I know it sounds crazy - but I have also thought about just "resting" to see if God will bless me then! It seems like that works for so many people! But honestly, I think they get to that point naturally, and I am just not there right now. (I don't think you are either.)
Husband and I have always been open to adoption. It is hard to swallow though - the thought of not having your own biological child, the issues that come with adoption, all of it scares me. But you are right on with God equipping us to do whatever He calls us to do.
Also, just curious, how did you get your RE to move you on to injectibles? Mine insisted I had to do three IUIs with Clomid before moving on to anything else. I think that is awesome, and I hope this time is it for you!
(The thought of twins makes me smile too.)
Glad to hear your latest us was clear and you can move onto injectables! How exciting! I hope this does the trick for you and that the follistim plus iui give you your bfp! Sending positive thoughts your way!
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