There is Hope

You know your infertility struggle has gotten hard when you decide to dedicate an entire blog to the subject. I do have a more public, every-day kind of blog. But for some reason (frustrating at times) I cannot bring myself to talk about our struggle with infertilty. I don't know if it is a privacy thing, a fear thing, or what... but the fact is...I can't write about it there. And I DESPARATELY want to write about it. So. My solution was to create a separate more anonymous blog to chronicle our journey. To those of you who face the world with a "who gives a crap what people think. I'm talking about this!" kind of attitude, I applaud you. I envy you. And maybe one day I will be you. But until then I will do it this way. Hope that's ok.

Speaking of Hope...I decided to name my blog Hopeful in the Land of Infertility because Infertile Myrtle was taken I have found that HOPE has become sort of my life word... if that makes any sense. This lady said it perfectly here. Infertility is hope and despair mingled together. It is a journey full of ups and downs. You have hope at certain points, then the hope ( no matter how much you tried to resist it in the first place but it always manages to sneak its way into every cycle) gets crushed again and again and yet again. So. If infertility is a dry and weary land where there is no water ( Psalm 63:1) how is it that we are to have hope? I think I will probably get to the answer over several posts in the future but I think what it comes down to for me is that I have to put my hope in the right thing. Or person rather. Hope is deeper than "I hope I get pregnant this month." It has to be. Hope must be placed in something bigger than our circumstances. Otherwise we will never ever be satisfied. My hope comes from the Lord. And whether that sounds cliche to you or whether you are right there with me, the only way I can face month after month after year after year of disappointment is if my hope is in Jesus. Because, you see, one day I won't be consumed with TTC. I will be made perfect, complete, and whole. I will no longer be frustrated by a broken body. One day He will wipe away every tear from my eyes (Rev 21:4). One day life will be as it was always supposed to be. Free of hurt, sin, and infertility. That is the only way I can have hope to face a new day is to know that one day all of this will be over and I will see Him face to face. 

"May the God of HOPE fill you up with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.' Romans 15:13

More details of our journey to come soon...