IUI #1

Ouch. I think that sums up this post. I don't know what is wrong with me , but for some reason speculums hurt me sooooo so bad. I know they hurt everyone, but I have had the worst time with those blasted things. She started out using the small one anyway but it just felt like she was scrapping my insides out. I tried so hard to stay relaxed so she could do it, and she said she could see my cervix, but she just couldn't get it open good I guess without me clinching up too much. (Sorry tmi). My poor sweet husband was holding my hand but I think he was about to pass out! Well, she said she had another small speculum that was narrower so she went and got that one and then within 10 seconds the whole thing was done! She showed me on the screen as she injected the sperm and just like that...it was over. I even said "That's it?" They said "yep! getting there is the hardest part."

Rewind.

I took Femera this cycle and Triggered Sunday morning. I was pretty nervous this morning. I was just praying and listening to Hillsong and trying not to worry. Robert came to my work to pick me up and we got to the appointment 15 minutues early. We flipped through magazines and talked some. Our spirits were pretty high. We got called back and now you are caught up to the ouch part.

Afterwards she had me lay there for five minutes then we left. Bless husbands heart. He hated seeing me in pain so he was sweating up a storm! We laughed so hard as we got on the elevator at his sweat stained shirt. He's so sweet. I don't think he really expected it to hurt me that bad. He kept saying "Are you ok now? Does it still hurt?" I was like "Dude. If we do ever have a baby you're not even going to be able to be in the room with me!" haha.

So, now I'm back at work talking to you lovelies. Whoever you may be out there. :) All in all it wasn't too bad. But dangit. Am I the only one with speculum issues? My nurse told me to, from now on, ask for the "Long Narrow" speculum. long narrow. long narrow. Got it. For the rest of my life I will ask for the long narrow.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot one of the best parts! Husband's sperm count was 58 million!! I was so excited. Aaaaaaas was he. lol.

One last thing. Do any of you struggle with who to tell what to when you do procedures like this? I told my mom but only because she kept asking when my next appointment was (from Friday) and how the appointment went. Same thing with one of my bff's. Only she didn't ask how it went Friday so I didn't tell her we were doing this today. It's just... I don't want them knowing the exact moment I could conceive. Because then they are going to be expecting a call from me in two weeks. I just feel like it puts a lot of pressure on me. And sometimes I don't want to give them updates on my appointments ya know? I just don't want to say the words. Is that just me? I guess it's a double edged sword. Because on the one hand, I want the prayers and support. But on the other hand, I also want some kind of privacy. IDK what it is about the IUI that made me want to go into hiding from my closest friends and family. It's not much different from all the other cycles when they knew I was on my "fertile days." I guess this is just a different level now?

In any case, I'm just glad this one is over. Now the 2ww begins. Woo freakin hoo. Lord let these two weeks pass quickly!

On the ride back from the doctor this song came on. It makes me smile :) And very fitting for today.

My First Upcoming IUI

I was not expecting any mature follicles at my appointment this morning. Since my cycle felt kinda screwy from the birth control (I had two lovely weeks of breakthrough/withdrawal bleeding.) I took the Femera but it was on like the 12th day I was bleeding so I didn't really think my body would do anything. BUT... I had one follicle that was about 17. I had several smaller ones on the left side but the one on the right was the dominant one. I keep seeing things on blogs about girls being really upset that they don't have more than one mature follicle. So I asked my nurse if it was bad and she said no. She said it eliminates the chances of twinning but that it only decrees the chances of conceiving by a teeny tiny bit. Is that right? Is that only for IVF that they want you to have lots of mature follicles? Confused. So she said her guess would be that we will trigger tomorrow and then do IUI on Monday. Just waiting for bloodwork results and she will tell me What When How and Why.

So...I guess the next time I update maybe I will have already had the IUI? Yikes. I'm nervous. I had a good cry when I got to work this morning. Just cause...I guess I'm just dreading that 2ww and the end result. I dread feeling that way again. BUT...after feeling freaked out and worried I listened to The One Who Saves by Hillsong on repeat for about 45 minutes while I looked up verses in the Bible about "His love endures forever" And I just cried over Psalm 107. It will be ok. My very breath is in His hands.

 

"His love endures. Forever His love endures forever and ever."