He Is My Hope

Ok I am going to try and write a much less depressing post today! Haha. I got a call from one of my RE nurses yesterday to update me on our next treatment plan. I will say this one negative thing and then hush. You know that feeling (especially if you're bad at math like I am) where you are trying so hard to understand something that you start to tear up because you're so frustrated that you don't understand? That was me on the phone with the nurse yesterday. I get so flustered sometimes  when I try to ask questions and understand, even though I have great, sweet nurses. I think, because they do this for a living, they sometimes assume we know things or have already talked to us about certain things and they haven't. So here's where we are:

- They are changing my medicine form Tomoxifen to Femera in hopes that maybe I can produce more than one mature follicle.
- We ARE going to do IUI this cycle if all works out. This will be my first one and I'm a little really nervous!
- I will start the Femera on Wednesday and then go in for ultrasound Next Friday.
- She told me to call and see if I would be covered for injectibles (which are apparently really really expensive) and I AM!! So that is reeeeeally great news. I was so happy to hear the lady say "Yep, looks like you would just have to pay a $50 copay." I wanted to reach thru the phone and give her a high five. IUI is not covered but at least the injectibles are.
- So my doctor is suggesting that we consider doing injectibles soon if this IUI is unsuccessful.

I had a good long cry with the husband last night. He is just the greatest, most supportive man. I am so blessed to have him. I watched these videos that are floating around the infertility blogs lately and it made me so thankful that my husband is not so much like Neil. haha He just lets me cry and he believes so much that it's going to happen.  God uses him in such a big way to give me hope. I also had a good long cry with God. It was raining when I left work so when I got home I just sat in the driveway in the rain and just bawled to him. I love how He lets me have these moments with him and He is patient with me. Then it was just really sweet because I just told him all the things I know are true.

"I know you love me. I  know you hate this for me. I know you want me to have a baby so badly. I know you are walking with me. I know you are faithful. I know one day somehow I will  be a mother."  

And just saying these things to Him did so much for my soul. He gave me that peace I needed. And I praise Him for that. He is my hope in the land of infertility. He is good.